Essay ON the Zombie Apocalypse

As television and film continue to shock and horrify audiences around the world with their portrayals of the dead coming back to life and the subsequent apocalypse, many have begun “preparing” for their fight for survival against the undead. The Huffington Post’s Bill Bradley, in an October 2014 article entitled, “How to Survive a Real ‘Walking Dead’ Zombie Apocalypse,” interviewed “Talking Dead” cast member and founder of the Zombie Research Society Matt Mogk. Mogk, quoted as saying the zombie apocalypse was “just a matter of time,” offered up his expertise on how to survive the eventual rise of the dead (qtd. in Bradley). Step one for the ZRS president was to watch the film “Zombieland,” not because of the survival steps laid out by the film’s protagonist, but because of the type of zombie the film portrays.

The problem Mogk has with “The Walking Dead” is that the zombies are portrayed as reanimated corpses, while a more probable scenario would be that of what he refers to as living zombies, or “a relentlessly aggressive human driven by a biological infection,” (Bradley). The second step is to check the news and social media, as Mogk maintains the complete societal collapse would not happen overnight. “You see this in every zombie movie pretty much the notion that one person gets bitten and then you cut to the end of the world. And that just really doesn’t hold true. It would be so many months of gray area and questions of what do we do” (qtd. in Bradley).

For step three: prioritizing the acquisition of supplies, Mogk cites the “Rule of Threes” that states death is certain if a human is deprived of air for three minutes, deprived of shelter (meaning anything that shields the body from the elements) for three hours, deprived of water for three days and deprived of food for three weeks. Knowing this, a survivor would need to hoard and/or procure these viable resources immediately after news of the zombie apocalypse hit.

Perhaps most important is step four: staying close to home. “Your survival plan in any disaster should be centered around surviving where you are. If you think it’s really bad where you are, it’s worse somewhere else. Because you don’t even know that place so you have a whole other survival disadvantage” (qtd. in Bradley). It’s also important to note that while one may be familiar with an area and its inhabitants, step five states that under no circumstances should one go to Wal-mart or any retail store, gun store, etc. Basically, one should avoid any place that people are likely to go in search of supplies because of the likelihood of mass panic leading to chaos (Bradley).

Estately, a website dedicated to real estate, recently ranked each of the U.S. states on their ability to survive using a system that measured each state’s fighting ability, military personnel, zombie knowledge, physical fitness levels and access to weaponry. Ranking number five is New Mexico, which produces a high number of Ironman triathletes and has a high number of citizens that practice martial arts. Number four is Idaho due to its physically fit citizens and their knowledge of survival skills. Colorado, with the lowest obesity rates in the U.S. comes in at number three on the list. With their extensive gun supply, not to mention their vast knowledge of survival skills and zombie knowledge, Wyoming beats out Colorado for the second spot on the list; but not to be outdone is Alaska who ranks number one on Estately’s list:

Military personnel? More than anywhere else in the nation. Veterans? Loads of them. Guns? Check. Physical activity? Check. Survival skills? This is Alaska, for Pete’s sake. Throw in some zombie knowledge (and not to mention soul-crushing vastness and isolation) and you’ve got yourself the number-one state in the nation for surviving the zombie apocalypse.

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